Cindy Irish: A Single Foster Mom Finds Support All Around Her

When Cindy, a 27 year-old, single teacher, told people she had decided to become a foster parent, they didn't believe her.  Her parents were especially hesitant, worried about her ability to manage the needs of foster children by herself and convinced that she had not thought enough about her decision.  Cindy, however, felt certain it was the right choice.  She recalls thinking, "I'm at a place in my life where I can make the time to spend with foster kids.  I knew there was a need and always had a love for kids... I was nervous, but God kept opening doors, I walked through, and now I'm a foster mom!"

She quickly learned how unpredictable the life of a foster parent can be.  Cindy completed her home study, became an approved foster mom on a Thursday, was asked to provide respite care for two children over the weekend and then got a phone call from her family consultant on Monday morning with a referral.  Her consultant asked her to take a placement of two brothers, ages three and one.  Cindy was taken aback by how fast things had progressed, but she accepted the referral with no hesitation.

One of the main concerns for a single foster mom is accessing the support needed, including resources, financial help, emotional support and prayer.  Cindy had some of these fears but was sure that her church, Orange Hill Baptist, would surround with this and more.  "It was overwhelming to go from just having me to worry about, to having me plus two little boys to take care of," she remembers.  When she accepted these children, she had very few supplies ready.  But within two days, her church family, friends and neighbors supplied her with hundreds of diapers, food, clothes, toys and much more.  Cindy found something new to be overwhelmed about - the incredible support that those around her offered so quickly.

Those around Cindy have grown through this experience as well.  Her parents, initially so unsure about her decision to foster, recently completed their home study to become her respite family.  "Pappy" and "Ya-Ya" Irish love the boys and readily admit that they are wrapped around their fingers.  Cindy's friends and church family have also fallen in love with the boys.  When asked what her biggest surprise has been, Cindy said that it has been seeing how much other people love her foster children.  "People seek them out just to give them a hug, talk to them, love on them," she says. "That was not something I expected. People really reach out to them."

Her advice to other single women thinking about becoming foster moms is to start building that support system.  Have babysitters lined up, people you know you can call and rely on.  Realize that you will need time for yourself, and that you can't do everything by yourself.  Know that you may make mistakes, but the most important thing is just to love your kids.  You will think, "Why did I sign up for this?"  That's when you call your consultant, or a babysitter.  Don't ever be afraid to ask for help.  If you don't ask, they can't say yes."

Even with this help from her friends and family, Cindy knows that God has been her number one supporter and the one who has made her journey as a foster mom possible.  She describes her spiritual growth and her new relationship with the Lord: "I know that He had a purpose for me in bringing me through this process. He knew that I needed these boys, and they needed me.  I now have much more faith in His provision."  She has come to realize what all foster moms need to know: "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:13 NIV).