Fantastic Families: Step 4 Spend Time Together

There's an old saying that people at the end of their lives rarely wish they spent more time at work. Most of us don't have to be on our deathbeds to realize how important our families are, but we still have a tendency to prioritize other, less important things, over spending time with them. Strong families recognize that no matter what else is going on in their lives, they need to make a conscious effort to spend time with one another.    The following are tips for spending time together.

Quality and Quantity
Some people argue that spending quality time with their families is more important than the amount of time spent together. That's true - but only to a point. Spending one hour having a good conversation with your spouse is better than four hours where you are together but distracted with other things (work, the kids, paying bills, etc.). But if you're only spending five minutes a day talking to your spouse, it doesn't matter how stimulating the conversation is - that's not enough to nurture the marriage. You need to balance quality and quantity.

Abundant but Not Stifling
We talk a lot about the need to spend time together as a family, but it's also important for members of the family to exercise their individuality. Sometimes parents become so involved in their children's lives, especially during the prime childrearing years, that they lose sight of who they are as individuals. They abandon hobbies and friends so they can devote all their time to their family. This isn't good for anyone - parents or children. Strong families recognize that too much time together can be suffocating, which is also destructive to the family foundation.

Planned but Not Mechanical
There's a big difference between, "Let's spend more time together as a family" and "Tuesdays at 8:00 p.m. are family time." The first is a good idea but it's not concrete. For many of us, we have so much going on that if it's not scheduled it doesn't happen. If this sounds like your family, be proactive about putting family time on your calendar.

Serendipity
Serendipity means finding good things that were not sought. Sometimes we get so focused on making a situation "perfect" that we stop being present in the moment. Instead of worrying about how to create the perfect family outing next week or next month, enjoy the situation as it is - right now. When you focus on today, tomorrow usually takes care of itself.

Does your family have a designated time that you spend together? If not, have you thought about implementing one? Don't waste any more opportunities to spend quality time in great quantities with your family.