01/28/09 - Surviving the wait for a foster child

 

You're a foster parent. Now what? Surviving the wait for placement.
You've done all the paperwork, and your home study is finally complete. You and your Cornerstone family consultant have decided that you are finally ready to foster. Now what?

Some people find waiting to be the most anxious period of all. There is no way to predict how long this time will last. Much of it will depend upon your flexibility regarding the kinds of children you will accept. Here are several things to do while you wait.

Read. Search the Internet or get a list of recommended titles on child development and fostering from your consultant. Get information prior to placement and gain confidence about beginning your role as a foster parent. Remember: you have to complete 15 hours of training annually, so check with your consultant to see if your learning applies for credit.

Seek support. Contact others interested in fostering. Call your church foster care ministry advocate to talk and ask for prayers. Seek out active foster parents in your church or community. While we will do all we can to help you prepare, there is no substitute for contact with others who have personally experienced fostering.

Put together your Commmunity of Care support team. Fostering with Cornerstone means you have a Community of Care, a group of loving people that support you while you foster. Speak with your church advocate about the church's built-in support. Ask friends and family what they will do to support you. Will they babysit? Help with transportation? Supply diapers? Be available to listen? Develop a list so that when placement occurs, you have names and numbers readily available.

Assemble a picture book. Put together a small photo album to ease your foster child's transition. Include pictures of your family, your church the school the child might attend and anything else. Remember, everything will be new to him or her and photos might help lower his or her anxiety.

Help locate a doctor and dentist. Your foster child will require a physical exam within 72 hours of being placed in your home and a dental exam soon after. Talk with your medical providers and see if they will look after his or her needs. Ask if they accept Medicaid. If they are unable to help, talk with your consultant about the options, so you'll be prepared at placement time.

Have fun. Waiting is hard. Use this time for fun. Eat out with your spouse. Take your kids to the park. Take a Bible study. Learn to play tennis, or swim, or dance, or whatever it is you have been meaning to do 'sometime.' Any new addition to a family brings added stress and tension. Do what you can now to solidify your present family relationships.

Most important, pray. Know that God is in charge. Seek His guidance. Often, children come into foster care following abuse or neglect. Pray for these children and all of us as we aim to meet their needs.

Have questions?
Please contact the foster care advocate at your church or contact your Cornerstone consultant. We appreciate your willingness to serve with us and join you as you prayerfully await a foster child.